Knock, Knock
by ThinCeilings
Summary: Weiss solicits Yang's advice on initiating kissing and is told to crack a few jokes to lighten the mood. Cue Weiss telling shitty knock-knocks and waiting expectantly for a make-out session.


Three months. They'd been going out for three months, and they had not kissed yet_, _not once. Not a graze of the lips, nor a peck on the cheek, nor even a_blown kiss_, for God's sake!

For the first few weeks, this atrocious lack of kissing hadn't bothered her. Then a month rolled by … And another month … And another. Ruby never brought up the whoole dearth of kissing thing, but Weiss knew that her girlfriend was waiting for her to make the first move, because _she_ had been the one to initiate the relationship in the first place. Once or twice, Weiss even wished that she was a man, so that she would have a better idea of whose job it would be to _start _things.

During dinner that evening, Weiss stirred her pea soup listlessly, not paying much attention to Ruby.

"So I'm like, _Wham!_"

"Mm."

"And the Ursa's like, _Roar!"_

"Uh-huh."

"And I swing Crescent -"

Ruby swooshed her arms in a wide arc to demonstrate the killing power of her gunscythe, and smacked Jaune right in the eye with her fist.

"Ow!"

"Oops, sorry, Jaune - so anyway, I swing her like this - pow!"

"That's great," said Weiss, "that's really wonderful, Ruby."

Weiss' eyes were fixed on Yang, who sat directly across from her and was slurping up the vestiges of her pea soup.

"And the Ursa's paw just - "

"Ruby?"

" - pops off like - huh?"

"One second, okay?"

Before Ruby could respond, Weiss got to her feet with her dinner tray. As she passed Yang, she whispered, "Bathroom. One minute."

Much to her relief, Yang did not react, save for the tiniest of frowns.

Weiss deposited her tray on the food conveyor, and strode promptly to the ladies' room. She waited there, leaning against the sink, arms crossed, one foot tapping restlessly against the tiled floor.

This was a gross, gross, gross idea, but she had no other choice, no other option. She was out of cards.

Precisely one minute later, Yang pushed through the door, and - Weiss' heart jumped - locked it behind her. "So what is it?"

Weiss took a deep breath. "I need advice."

"Yeah?" Yang said, tilting her head to the side. The unspoken question was clear as glass: _Why me?_

Weiss cleared her throat. "On re_la_tionships."

Yang's eyebrows rose, and something in her face grew sharper. "Are you breaking up with my sister?" she said, in a much different tone of voice from before, and suddenly Weiss was relieved that she was not actually breaking up with Ruby.

"No!" she said, a flush creeping up her neck. "Of course not! It's just…"

A terrible thought reared on its hind legs.

"Actually." She lowered her gaze. "_She_ might break up with _me_, if I don't figure it out soon. How, um."

Yang leaned in.

"How do you. Well. You know."

Yang leaned in closer.

"_You _know!"

Yang was leaning in so close that Weiss feared she would tumble over. Hastily, she said, "Kiss! How do you kiss!"

"Whuh?"

"How do you initiate it?"

Yang's eyes widened. "What."

"How do you follow through?" Weiss said, the words bursting out of her mouth. Once she named one anxiety, she had to name them all. "Is it too early to kiss three months in, or too late? Is there kissing etiquette - "

"Uh_._"

"When do you end? When does the tongue come in? Is it bad to use tongue the first time? How am - "

Yang burst out laughing, doubled over, and didn't stop for a good thirty seconds. Every time Weiss thought she was done, she would gasp, "_When does - __**tongue**__ -_" and collapse into a fit of laughter again.

When Yang finally calmed down - "Whheeeeww" - she clapped (a thoroughly offended) Weiss on the shoulder."Just do the thing," she wheezed. "Crack a joke, or something, get her in the mood, y'know, and do it. Jeez."

"But."

"I believe in you!" Yang squeezed Weiss' shoulder, and turned to leave. Just as the door swung shut behind her, Weiss heard her chuckle distinctly under her breath, "The people my sister dates."

_x x x_

Ignoring Jaune's cheerful "Hey, Weiss!", Weiss strode into the dorms, back straight, eyes forward. She stopped in front of her room. Breathe in.

She gripped the door handle.

Breathe out.

Weiss pushed the door open.

"Hewwo," came Ruby's muffled voice. She was sprawled across Weiss' bed, face hidden in a pillow. As always, Yang and Blake were nowhere to be seen.

"Hi." Weiss strode forward and planted her feet in front of the bunk bed. "Uh - what are you doing?"

"M'meditating," Ruby said into the pillow.

"Meditating," repeated Weiss, her pulse quickening.

"Yeh."

Weiss was silent for a few seconds, gathering her resolve. Then, she said, stiffly, "A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar."

Ruby's head shifted slightly to the right. "Huh?"

"The bartender says, 'Is this some kind of joke.'"

Ruby lifted her head from the pillow and peered at her girlfriend. "Are you sick?"

"I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"It's just …" Ruby's head plopped back down onto the pillow. "Nevermind."

Weiss frowned. Perhaps this was part of the kissing thing - like a mating ritual. Either way, bar jokes were clearly not Ruby's cup of coffee, so she changed her angle of attack. She leaned against the frame to the bunk bed. "Knock knock."

"Wha?"

"A Fred."

"Weiss."

"Who's a Fred of the big bad Beowulf."

Ruby slowly got up into a sitting position, and reached out to touch Weiss' forehead.

"No fever," she said, "so you're either sleep-deprived, or you lost a bet, or maybe both."

"I'm fine," Weiss said, swatting away Ruby's hand, a little disappointed that her jokes had not had the relaxing effect she intended.

"Weiss, what's up with you?"

"Knock knock."

"Weiss -"

"Knock." Weiss glowered down at her girlfriend. "_Knock._"

Shrinking back a little, Ruby said reluctantly, "Who's there."

"Abby."

"Abby who."

"Abby birthday."

"That's -" Ruby laughed. Weiss' heart rose. "That's not even - it's not even my birthday!"

"Are you feeling more relaxed?" Weiss said hopefully.

"I - what. What? No, I …"

Weiss' face fell. Ruby looked absolutely baffled.

"Weiss, _what is going on?"_

Weiss turned away sharply so Ruby wouldn't see her face flushing red. She felt _ridiculous. _She felt ridiculous for trying - she felt ridiculous for feeling ridiculous.

"Weiss?"

"It's nothing!"

Ruby touched her shoulder. When her hand wasn't shaken off, she gently tugged at Weiss' shoulder until she turned her around. Weiss was staring resolutely at her boots, her ears and cheeks bright red.

"Weiss."

"I just," Weiss mumbled to the floor. "I just wanted you to - oh, it's so _dumb _-"

"I won't think it's dumb."

Weiss glanced up. "Yes, you will."

"Nah, I won't. We're girlfriends, remember? Try me."

Weiss took a deep breath, thanking her lucky stars that Yang and Blake weren't in the room. "It's just that … I just wanted you to, well."

"Yeah?"

"To, um. Be fine with me - well. You know."

Ruby nodded encouragingly.

"Be fine with me kissing you," Weiss mumbled.

For a few seconds, Ruby's expression remained the same. Then her face broke out into a grin - _that fill-the-whole-room smile, _Weiss thought - and she hugged Weiss tightly.

"I thought you got heatstroke or something!" Ruby laughed, letting go.

"Wow, _thanks_," huffed Weiss, but she was also smiling. Relief flooded her body: Ruby hadn't pushed her away.

"Is that what you want?" Ruby continued, holding Weiss' hands in front of her. She looked steadily into her eyes.

"Well," said Weiss, feeling that familiar flush creep up her neck again, "I mean, if you're all right with it."

"I am."

"Then - then yes, I suppose."

Ruby smiled. The next thing Weiss knew, they were kissing, and it was as every bit warm and soft and fleeting as she had imagined. When Ruby pulled away, Weiss' eyes remained closed for a second longer before they opened.

"Wow," said Weiss softly. "That was … really nice."

"Yeah."

"I always thought I would be the one to initiate, though."

"Yeah, me too," Ruby admitted. "Er - I didn't want to freak you out by coming on too strong, you know. So I thought maybe you wanted to start things."

Weiss squeezed Ruby's hands. "Well, I'm glad how this turned out."

Ruby beamed. "Me too." Her grin slipped a little. "But why were you telling me knock-knock jokes?"

"_Uhhm_ - "

"Seriously, _what _-"

Weiss kissed Ruby, effectively shutting her up. When they parted, Ruby nodded.

"Won't ask again."

"Good."


End file.
